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a rainy season

8/28/14

You don’t realize how hard the road to letting go is, until you are the one traveling it.

the same time last year I fell in love. It was blissful, and full of sunshine.It was a happy moment of the year when everything makes sense and that life is full of excitement.

That feeling of being certain and those smiles that you get and the ticklish feeling of seeing someone after a long and tiring day was so amazing. It was the first after a long run that I was able to work on my creativity to make something for someone. It was amazing knowing someone is there for you regardless on how many sea or mile is difference,

In my memory its so vivid, on how things was and how happy we are. His that person who will make “good morning” text so wonderful to read, makes those sticker felt like real. He is that someone who can make my rainy days so much fun. And how I can imagine cuddling would be great with him. He was so warm and sweet in his own manly way. He always have that patience to understand and listen to all my journals and letters that I put so much effort on every details of it. His the person who always have the “I love you more” text for me. That someone who make me feel valued in every weird way i can be. His that guy wanted to be with me regardless on how bad my mood swing are and how unreasonable my tantrums were. His that guy who knows how to keep me warm when cramps are getting worst. His the person who misses me when I cant get response for hours, and it makes me feels important in every way. His that person who always find time to talk to me in his super busy schedule and always tell me details on his day. His that person who never fail to say im beautiful on every bad hair day we Skype, that someone who thinks your weirdness fit perfectly on theirs, and finally his is the person whom I gave my heart to. I know I was certain I was in love, and this person make things vividly colorful and exciting.

 

They say life is a constant change, we learn from it, grow from it, be wise from it. We just have to accept and embrace the changes and that nothing is permanent in this life. I guess one thing that make the process painful is remembering who and how the things were used to. Exactly a year ago from now I was in loved, and it was a wonderful memory. It’s a wonderful and precious time but as the days past I can see how we grew further just like how far we are from each other. I almost forgot every bit of a feeling I felt a year ago and I realize it was a great memory that’s fading, I don’t know the guy iam with anymore and seeing changes takes place I realize im already trying to remember what we are a rainy season ago and how we used to be.

 

Before everything fades and everything will become a merely memories I want to hold on even just the memories I have with him, before hatred come in away and bitterness follows. I don’t want to look back and I don’t want to hold till the time that he will tell me that his love faded.  I want to let it go and wish him the happiness with in the world has to offer. i guess everyone who fell in-love wishing the same “happy ever after” ending but life would be sometimes challenging and unpredictable. We just have to chase and enjoy the journey on it. 

status

Status:
in a relationship
Single
Its complicated
Married
Etc…

Does this really matter? Will our happiness defends on how our status states? Will it control our happiness defending on how the relationship goes?

questions sometimes are ask,after a thousand questions, a sleepless night i realize no one owns us anything. Even our status states “in a relationship” with that so called “couple ring” on your hand, we are still responsible for how we feel, how our day will go through, specially our happiness. No one awes us anything, and not our boyfriend nor partner is oblige to give us those. we awe it to ourselves. Sometimes your in a relationship but it feels lonely on it. Irony of love is a misery. Sometimes we should not be emotionally dependent to others, because if we do will end up being demanding and through this we start to expect and most of the time we end up being dissapointed. Happiness is one of life’s gift, why not take it? Being in love and having someone is just a extra happiness that we get if we Only know how to find that happiness that’s within us. Ive learn that anyone has a choice, to leave you, to love you or whatsoever, and that no one awes us anything, but yourself will be and always be there for you since the very first day of your life till your last. So love yourself more than anything and anyone in this world and you wont get dissapointed again.

Another start

Loosing oneself and rebuilding it will always be an exciting experience. There will come a time in life that we fall down, make mistakes and we loose ourself for valueing others. and when you think it everything fell down remember that This experience is not the end of life, we make mistakes for us to learn, to see life on a different angle, to feel pain that makes us appreciate happiness. Failure is life’s another way to say ” you deserve greater than what we want”. Keep the light burning and stay on it. Life ia not all dark and lonely its rather simple and light.

Have u tried writing those things that you like doing, or simple things that you like hat gives you that certain feeling of happiness, that makes you think thats ‘its a wonderful life indeed’. I got the chance to do mine, since waking up at 12am when everyone is sleeping and i end up getting my pen and my notebook for my thoughts. I was able to know myself more,by going by my thoughts and knowing what i love/ like doing that gives u that feeling. They add up that certain joy into this journey. Its amazing how so much life can give you, the chance to enjoy this things and appreciate every little things it can offer. Il start doing all on my list one at a time, and write another set of list lol. Good morning everyone. :)

I remeber someone wrote a not that 90% of happiness comes from within and the rest is just external. So should learn to love our self first, so we can share that love to others. Its going to be a wonderful restart. 😊😊😊

  • Track Name

    Please Don't Say You Love Me

  • Artist

    GABRIELLE APLIN

"Just please don’t say you love me
‘Cause I might not say it back
Doesn’t mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There’s no need to worry when you see just where we’re at
Just please don’t say you love me
‘Cause I might not say it back” —— GABRIELLE APLIN

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